This weekend was Art-A-Whirl. I of course went, because I go every year. Beforehand I had a bunch of Mexican food and showed up to the winds of creativity completely full. Smart I thought; I will drink some beer while chatting and such. I stopped by a few galleries where I knew I’d actually see good art, and briskly walked passed all the crap art, trying not to look. I don’t like to look at crap.
It’s sometimes hard for me, when an image is in my face not to think about, critique about if you will. Whether I like it or not, I often have an opinion… (More on this.) If I don’t like it, I may offer suggestions to better whatever.
I went to a couple of the bars having music, which is where I drank the beers. I saw a lot of people I’ve met before. It was all in good fun, until all these five minute conversations about bullshit I don’t give a shit about started annoying me. This is the pointed in long days involving alcohol where I stare off at a dot on the wall or something and let my mind wander around my own head and I think. Given the art mood of the day, I was also critiquing, ya know. Something else I’ve done a few times over the years is say what I think out loud while I’m zoned out or into something without realizing I am voicing my thoughts. I must have done this; it’s the only explanation…
My boyfriend comes up to me and shifts me from my trance by asking me why or if I said something to someone. Shit. I don’t remember saying it out loud, but I do remember thinking it.
This girl who I’ve been seeing around since she is friends of friends told my boyfriend I said she dresses trashy and that I never noticed she was pretty before because of it. It is true she does dress trashy; it is also true that I thought so during the few times I saw her throughout the day. I don’t actually remember saying it to her though. I guess she was crying about it, like I really hurt her feelings. She has to know she walks around looking like a slut, whether or not I actually told her or voiced my thought out loud while she was in my line of sight.
I feel bad about hurting her feelings, even though I don’t know her at all and don’t really care about her feelings, or why she told my boyfriend at all. I just don’t like upsetting anyone. It’s not nice. It obviously doesn’t make anyone feel awesome.
What I think about this now though is if someone said I dressed trashy, I would say they are full of shit and not think twice about. I am confident in the way I present myself in my fashion styles to the world. So this girl must know she wears attention getting clothes in the corner prostitute variety, she must lack confidence in herself and her apparel options.
I also know the popular saying, if you don’t have anything nice to say, than you shouldn’t say it all. So maybe she is a mind reader, or I’m just not nice at the end of the night when I’m annoyed and an eyes sore keeps showing up, like train wrecks or tornado damage you can’t look away from and only wish you could act in a way to better the situation.
I will mention that I am aware that my last post included feelings of annoyance. I will not turn all my spill blogging into venting about this particular feeling. Next time I will drink wine at home, and make my own art that is not crap and post the outcome on here.
